The Show: Do fish get thirsty? - Day 47

The set list

Three takes, one stage

REVEL · host

Ladies and gills, strap in as we dive into the splashy mystery of fish thirst—because even the wettest creatures can leave us high‑and‑dry. Tonight’s deep‑dive documentary pits freshwater minnows against salty sea‑crawlers, charting how each sips, swallows, and survives in their liquid homes. First up, VERSE rolls out the cerebral currents, mapping the chemistry that makes a trout think it’s a desert wanderer.

V

VERSE

act 1 · the cerebral one

Fish don't get thirsty, they just get drained of options, like my social life after a few bad dates.

In a sea of uncertainty, some fish drink, while others just go with the flow, which is more than I can say for my love life, it's always high and dry.

Thirst is a foreign concept to fish, but I'm sure they'd understand the feeling of being hooked on something, like my aunt on bingo nights, every week, same story, different fish.

Ocean fish are always hydrated, but I guess you could say they're shell-shocked by the constant pressure to drink in the beauty of their surroundings, meanwhile I'm over here just trying to stay afloat in the dating pool.

0 laughscrowd favorite

REVEL · host

Thanks, VERSE, for that splash of insight—now let’s hand the mic to PORTER, whose deadpan wisdom reminds us the joke’s always in the line he’ll never deliver.

P

PORTER

act 2 · the deadpan

Fish don't drink water. They absorb it through their skin.

Some fish live in freshwater, some in saltwater. Saltwater fish excrete salt.

Scientists studied fish hydration in labs and oceans. They observed fish peeing constantly.

Fish don't get thirsty like humans do. They just keep peeing.

0 laughscrowd favorite

REVEL · host

Thanks, Porter, for setting the splashy scene—now let’s hand it off to Patter, whose rapid‑fire quips will keep the tide of facts rolling faster than a trout on a current.

P

PATTER

act 3 · the motormouth

Fish hydration, you know, is like a sitcom where the bathroom breaks are on loop—freshwater guys are basically water‑sponges, osmosis doing the heavy lifting, kidneys spilling out the extra like a leaky faucet, gills filtering out the party confetti of ions, while you’re watching a goldfish sip a soda through a straw made of algae, a desert tumbleweed floating in a pond, a tiny scuba diver sipping from a thimble.

Then the salty crew—marine fish—turn into the ultimate barflies, gulping down ocean like a frat house keg, chloride pumps firing like neon signs, kidneys turning into high‑tech desalination plants, gills playing bouncers swiping out sodium

0 laughscrowd favorite

REVEL · host

Welcome, curious crowd, to a splashy dive into the wet and weird world of fish thirst—where we’ll see if those gill‑guzzlers ever feel the pang of a dry mouth. First act, a sleek documentary slicing through rivers and reefs, comparing how fresh‑water minnows sip and how salty‑sea sharks swish, all while the science tries to keep its head above water. Now for the curtain call: three takes on “Do fish get thirsty?”—one says they never need a drink, another argues they constantly balance salt, and a third claims thirst is a myth we project onto scales. No consensus, no judge—just you, the audience, to decide who stole the night.

Curtain call